When I was younger, my grandmother always used to say, “And we’re off like a herd of turtles!” as soon as my sister and I buckled up in the backseat. If you can imagine a young avid Discovery-Channel-viewer trying to rationalize this statement, then you might see why I was never a fan of this expression. Now a wizened and mature 22 year-old, I can honestly and ever-so-victoriously state that I understand the profound meaning behind the aphorism. I know that was a teaser. Stay tuned for my revelation.
I am a penny-pincher and I’m not ashamed. Seeing as how I haven’t yet entered that little thing known as the “Real World” yet, I am currently running on limited funds and am always up for saving a dollar…or in this case…two hundred dollars. How, you ask? When purchasing airfare to Chile, I found that the cheapest direct flight was $200 more expensive than a connecting flight. The catch: tacking on extra 1500 miles and 14 hours onto my travel route. After all, it makes complete sense that flying from Atlanta ALL THE WAY UP to Toronto and ALL THE WAY BACK DOWN to Santiago would be more fuel and economically efficient than a direct flight. Naturally, I opted for the Canadian route and keep my two Benjamins. Besides, I’m not one to turn down another stamp in the ole passport.
Clearly, to be “off like a herd of turtles” is to swing by Toronto en route from Atlanta to Santiago de Chile. If only someone had explained this to my naïve childhood self. What clarity!
The good news? My friend Caitlin lives in Toronto and I have made plans to meet up with her during my ten hour layover. Definitely worth it.
After some frantic last minute packing and a solid 1.5 hours of sleep, my poor mother took the brunt of my pre-departure stress fest. (Sorry, momma! I love you!) So, it worked out that my good friends Brett and Alex so selflessly sacrificed their sleep to brave Atlanta rush hour and drive me to the airport. They even parked and helped me carry my bags inside…what stand-up guys! Good thing they accompanied me inside or they would have missed out on seeing the largest and firefighter ever known to man. I swear he was flirting with the 7-foot height marker. Anyways, we said our goodbyes at the check-in counter and then there I was…alone and facing 5 months…on my own. My self-pity party lasted approximately 20 seconds and came to a screeching halt when I tried to kick my suitcase forward and the line moved up and instead fell on top of it. I was openly laughed at. I blame my sleep deprivation. Let the journey begin.
A) Perry would be proud of you for your airline savvy. B) How does an airline figure it's cheaper to carry 150 pounds (that's you plus three suitcases) 1500 miles further? C) Once you have four kids, you'll willingly spend the extra $200 for a direct flight! D) A little slapstick will come in handy when they make your adventures into a movie! :-)
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