Pitt Status

As in Brad Pitt. The celebrity. Celebrity status. Pitt status. (Befittingly, this status also happens to stink after a few hours.) This is what I have decided to affectionately nickname the phenomenon that is currently taking over my life. Today was my first day at the school- only to observe, mind you. 

I started off the morning with a big fat miscommunication. Curse the language barrier! Last night I asked my host mom what time we need to leave the house. The school is about ten blocks away from the house...maybe a 15 minute walk. I have since learned that it can be covered in about 8. I THOUGHT she told me last night that she leaves for school at 8am. Turns out school STARTS at 8am. I emerged from my room this morning at 7:45am, pleased with my punctuality and plenty of time to eat breakfast. Or so I thought. My mom looked very anxious and she told me as she poured my coffee that we had to leave now. After the miscommunication had been cleared up, I told her that I would drink my coffee on the way. That didn't fly. She wanted me to drink my coffee but also wanted to leave AHORITA (RIGHT NOW!). Well lady, you can't have your cake and eat it to. So I proceeded to down a scalding hot cup of coffee as she kept a vigilant eye. And then we were off. Current time...7:52am. I asked if we should run because that seemed to be a logical tactic to combat our tardiness. Oh no. That would be absurd, she says. Instead she sped walk. And believe you me, that woman puts the early-morning-residential-power-walkers (we all know the type) to shame. We arrived at school at precisely 8am- I short of breath, nursing two leg cramps and singed taste buds. 

Without a chance to catch my breath, I was scooped up by the principal and ushered into a conference room in which the school's ENTIRE faculty was seated and staring at me with expectant eyes. Before I had time to process the end of his sentence. (it was in Spanish...safe to assume that everything is at this point), "...and she will be taking over the English classes for semester. Please welcome her as she is a great asset to our community. Please, a few words, Kelsey." I managed to produce a few long ummms before a slew of broken Spanish came tumbling out of my mouth. I'm pretty sure I told them that I wanted to take advantage of their students instead of taking advantage of the opportunity. I just stopped talking mid-sentence, realizing that I was probably past the point of recovery. There was an eternal stretch of silence. And then the entire room erupted in a whooping applause. Everyone then lined up  to kiss me (on the cheek- standard Chilean gesture). After I exchanged "besitos" with about fifty people, I was given a tour of the school. Very small and very uninsulated which will surely be a problem seeing as this morning I was freezing my spoiled American bum off and it's only autumn. 

I was forbidden by the program to let the children know that I speak Spanish in order to motivate them to speak only English. This seemed easy enough until I realized that none of the teachers speak English either and I can't exactly give them the silent treatment when they converse with me in front of students. It goes without saying that my cover was blown before the first bell rang. In all the classes I was bombarded with questions like "Do you know Lady Gaga?" and "Have you ever seen the House that is White?" and presented with strange yellow fruits (I later learned were "membrillos" which translate to "quinces," which didn't get me much further) and homemade breads. My name was also crafted on a huge banner hung above the school. After a class, all of the students would line up to kiss me on the way out. Too many besitos. Note to self: scrub and sanitize cheek as frequently as possible. In between class periods (which last an hour and a half), I am literally swarmed be students on the way to the teacher work room. 

Before lunch, the principal interrupted class to inform me that the mayor had requested my presence. So...mid-class, I grabbed my bag and was escorted to "La Municipalidad" to meet the mayor, who invited me on a fishing trip over the upcoming weekend. Sure. Why not. Ugh. And back to school. After lunch, I had a planning period. I physically could not make it across the courtyard because I was surrounded by so many excited students. The situation resulted in me being locked in an office so that I could plan in peace. Peace is a relative term. The children were sliding drawings and candy (...and their socks???) underneath the door and taking turns boosting each other up to wave at me through the windows or take pictures with their camera phones. On the way out, the principal informed me (he was practically bursting with pride) that I am to be interviewed by the regional radio station on Thursday. For the love of Dios. My fans are relentless. It's funny what light skin and some English can get you outside of the U.S.