Why my life seems to be a painful sequence of awkward situations, the world may never know. This particular situation starts and ends in the bathroom as should the most awkward of situations.
There is no hot water in the house. Before I shower, I go through a lengthy process of lighting the gas water heater in the bathroom before I can go about bathing. After using a match to light the pilot switch thingy (in technical speak), you have to push the knob in for an unknown period of time (this period of time varies day to day) before turning it to actually heat the water. As a rookie, I would undress and do this right before I jumped in the shower. I learned quickly from my mistake as I did not enjoy shivering in my birthday suit waiting for the darn flame to catch. The other night I thought I would try and monopolize my shower time by undressing WHILE pushing the knob of the water heater. Hah! How's THAT for efficiency? However, if any of you have ever tried to undress yourself with only one hand, you know it's no walk in the park.
I managed to get my shirt off with only an-almost-painless encounter with the towel rack. Feeling smug, I then went for the pants. I got one leg out fairly easily. Still applying pressure to the water heater dial, I tried to wriggle my other leg free by pulling the loose pant leg and hopping. Go figure...I lost my balance. I knew I was falling but I couldn't do much about it because my legs were constricted. I fell into...(correction: THROUGH.) the plastic lid of the toilet, simultaneously ripping the knob off the water heater and letting out a weird yelping noise.
My madre had broken through the locked bathroom door before I even had time to process what happened let alone try and articulate in a different language why I was sopping wet and standing in my underwear with her broken toilet lid around my ankle. The nearest hardware store is an hour away but we made a special stop of the way back from the grandparent visit this weekend. My padre installed the new toilet seat tonight. Great success. If anyone happens to visit me, there will be no need to ask why our toilet is green and the lid is white. Cheers.
There is no hot water in the house. Before I shower, I go through a lengthy process of lighting the gas water heater in the bathroom before I can go about bathing. After using a match to light the pilot switch thingy (in technical speak), you have to push the knob in for an unknown period of time (this period of time varies day to day) before turning it to actually heat the water. As a rookie, I would undress and do this right before I jumped in the shower. I learned quickly from my mistake as I did not enjoy shivering in my birthday suit waiting for the darn flame to catch. The other night I thought I would try and monopolize my shower time by undressing WHILE pushing the knob of the water heater. Hah! How's THAT for efficiency? However, if any of you have ever tried to undress yourself with only one hand, you know it's no walk in the park.
I managed to get my shirt off with only an-almost-painless encounter with the towel rack. Feeling smug, I then went for the pants. I got one leg out fairly easily. Still applying pressure to the water heater dial, I tried to wriggle my other leg free by pulling the loose pant leg and hopping. Go figure...I lost my balance. I knew I was falling but I couldn't do much about it because my legs were constricted. I fell into...(correction: THROUGH.) the plastic lid of the toilet, simultaneously ripping the knob off the water heater and letting out a weird yelping noise.
My madre had broken through the locked bathroom door before I even had time to process what happened let alone try and articulate in a different language why I was sopping wet and standing in my underwear with her broken toilet lid around my ankle. The nearest hardware store is an hour away but we made a special stop of the way back from the grandparent visit this weekend. My padre installed the new toilet seat tonight. Great success. If anyone happens to visit me, there will be no need to ask why our toilet is green and the lid is white. Cheers.
The water heater...the bane of my existence.
More slapstick for your movie! I'm sure you planned this!
ReplyDeleteoh dear..
ReplyDeletePicture! Picture!!
ReplyDeleteSide note: I think this is what my dad meant when he said your life is like an episode of I Love Lucy.